He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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