I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
