She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
