I wish i was in the wii world.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Randomize
