guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
