FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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