my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
