if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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