You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
