"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
