I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
