I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she looked like the before picture.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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