My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
