Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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