So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
