i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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