Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
please come you make the beer taste better
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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