We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
