We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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