My brain says no but my pants say off.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
