Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
