***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
