why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
