I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
