He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
