He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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