i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
