My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
