Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
