normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Randomize
