I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
