I'll bet she douches with gravy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
