you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
