im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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