My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
