naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
