i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
