i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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