He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
