fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
