youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Randomize
