margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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