Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
