I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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