Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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