Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
