We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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