Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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