dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i just sent this text using only my big toe
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
