i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
