my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
