I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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