It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
